The Universal Joint's

OFFICIAL DISCLAIMER


This product is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. List each check separately by bank number. Batteries not included. Contents may settle during shipment. Use only as directed. No other warranty expressed or implied. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Postage will be paid by addressee. Subject to CAB, TSN, NBC, CBS, NAACP, CFL, CMHA, CRTC, and PMS approval. This is not an offer to sell securities. Apply only to affected area. MAY BE TOO INTENSE FOR SOME VIEWERS. Do not stamp. Use other side for additional listings. For recreational use only. Do not disturb. All models over 18 years of age. If condition persists, consult your physician. No user-serviceable parts inside. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Subject to change without notice. Times approximate. Simulated picture. No postage necessary if mailed in the United States. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. For off-road use only. As seen on TV. One size fits all. Many suitcases look alike. Please DO NOT RUN WITH SCISSORS. Prices may vary. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. Colors may, in time, fade. We have sent the forms which seem right for you. Slippery when wet. For office use only. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross. Drop in any mailbox. Edited for television. Keep cool. Process promptly. Post office will not deliver without postage. List was current at time of printing. Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. At participating locations only. Not the Beatles. Penalty for private use. See label for sequence. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Do not write below this line. Falling rock. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Your cancelled check is your recipt. Add toner. Place stamp here. Avoid contact with skin. Sanitized for your protection. Be sure each item is properly endorsed. Sign here without admitting guilt. Slightly higher west of the Mississippi. Employees and their families are not eligible. Beware of dog. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. Limited time offer, call now to insure prompt delivery. You must be present to win. No passes accepted for this engagement. No purchase necessary. Views expressed are not necessarily those of this station. Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton. Shading within a garment may occur. Use only in well-ventilated area. Keep away from fire or flame. Replace with same type. Approved for veterans. Booths for two or more. Check here if tax deductible. Some equipment shown is optional. Price does not include taxes. No Canadian coins. This set contains small parts which be hazardous to children under three. Prerecorded for this time zone. Reproduction strictly prohibited. No solicitors. No alcohol, dogs, or horses. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. Restaurant package, not for resale. List at least two alternate dates. First pull up, then pull down. Call toll free before digging. Driver does not carry cash. Packaged in U.S.A. with certain components from foreign countries of origin as specified thereon. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only. Record additional transactions on back of previous stub. Inspected by No. 40. Examine contents through window. Close cover before striking. Do not incinerate. This is a new document. Ignore all rumors of cancellation, whatever the source. Seal has been broken if safety button is up. Recycle after use. No patent liability is assumed with respect to the use of the information contained herein. Light fuse and get away. Registered trademarks are proprietary to their respective manufacturers. All rights reserved. Product contains no chlorofluorocarbons. Please do not discard this container or any of the packing material until the contents of the container have been carefully checked against the enclosed packing list and found to be correct. Printed on recycled paper. This set contains parts which have sharp points and jagged edges. Product may overheat during prolonged use. Tools not included. Mail your payment with only this part. Read this first. Keep away from children. You pay only for the phone call. All US shipments are insured free of charge. Policies, item availability and prices are subject to change without notice. Needs no refrigeration. Information on cholesterol is provided for individuals who, on the advice of a physician, are modifying their dietary intake of cholesterol. International patents pending. Dealer installation required. Operation of this equipment in a residential area may cause unacceptable interference to radio and TV reception requiring the operator to take whatever steps are necessary to correct the interference. Tipping or rocking may cause serious injury or death. Anti-theft device prevents obtaining free product. Test results which indicate the presence of drugs in your body will bar further consideration. This unit is set for 115 v. This door must remain unlocked during business hours.Do not remove tag under penalty of law. The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading only. Have your cat or dog spayed or neutered. Some contestants may receive one of the following items. Gratuity not included. Interest rates subject to chance w ithout notice. This transmission may not be secure. Do not feed the animals. Keep hands and arms inside the vehicle at all times. The darn thing's got wings. Do not feed after midnight. High doses may cause nausea, dizziness, loss of sleep and paranoia. For entertainment purposes only. Do not insert into any bodily cavities. Do not use in shower or while asleep. High voltage. Underground gas line. High traffic zone. No diving. Swim at own risk. Deaf child in area. Slow children. Biohazardous material. Must wear radiation badge at all times. Do not insert anything into openings. Consultants are not liable for any misinformation. BYOB. Falsification of any information is cause for dismissal. No guarantee of access. Don't walk. Cross now. Move on. Based on a true story. Simulated woodgrain. Professional driver on closed road. Results may vary. If you think you have a yeast infection, see your doctor. Emergency exits located at the front and rear of the theater. In case of a water landing, your pillow may be used as a floatation device. Fly to Cincinnatti and see the world. A panda is a large raccoon. At higher altitudes, use higher temperature. Do not microwave. Use only in non-metallic container. May fade or run. Wash only with like colors. Do not bleach. Tumble dry low. If irritation persists see, discontinue use. Wash applicator after use. For external use only, do not ingest. May cause initial discomfort. Do not use while smoking. Aim away from face. Do not chew. Use only in well-ventilated area. Lather, rinse, repeat, towel dry and style hair as normal. Not really a doctor. $1.00 minimum purchase after midnight. You're not angry at him, you're just pointing. The secret of The Crying Game -- She's a Man. Prolonged exposure may cause skin burns. Not all owed in some states. Step on a crack, break your mother's back. Employees smoking in the lounge will be terminated. Do not deposit coins. Duty fees may apply. Application fee not included. Reservations must be confirmed with a credit card. All entries sub ject to confirmation. Veterinary records must be satisfactory. Have you driven a Ford lately? 42. No through trucks. Seasonal weight restrictions in effect. Fog area. Watch for falling rocks. Honk before entering turn. Please pay before fueling. No lifegu ard on duty. Overpass may be icy. Answers strictly confidential. Do not use if skin is inflamed or infected. Do not bend. Extended use may cause cancer. No electronic devices may be used during the flight. Open the pod bay doors, HAL. I'm sorry Dave, I can't do that. No celebrities were harmed in the making of this cartoon, but 6 cartoons where accidentally erased during a freak accident involving solvents. Used without permission. All copyrights apply. Bob Dole is the devil. Items in red indicate spicy dish. Two thumbs up. 25 page limit. Command not recognized. Some scenes may not be app ropriate for younger viewers. Decaffienated. Strobe light in use. Can't undo last command. No guarantee whales will actually be sighted. Operators use at own risk. Store at room temperature. Do not refridgerate. Achtung. Your skin may look different after treatment. Ask your dermatologist. Not all hair types are the same. Consult your stylist. Use only in case of emergency. Break glass with hammer and stand clear. Some files may be damaged by this operation. How does Bill Gates screw in a light bulb? He doesn't -- he just defines darkness as the universal standard. Deer crossing next 2.5 miles. Rinse thoroughly with cold water. Works best on damp skin. Keep covered for 20 minutes or until done. Steam is hot. Use hot pads when removing from oven. Refill ev ery 24 hours. Do not exceed recommended dosage. Guard dog on duty. Don't hate me because I'm beautiful. Be careful what you wish for. Instant karma's gonna get you. All labels must be read before operating. Do not stand on while lift is in motion. Must be as tall as this stick to ride. Pregnant women should not ride the Matterhorn. No loitering or littering. Do not approach vehicle -- armed guard inside. May cause blistering. Pendulous breasts may get in the way of your swing; alter stance accordingly. Ne ver bounce while stretching. Exhale on the uptake. Not valid with any other coupons. Delivery may be extra. Some items are seasonal. Market prices will vary. Trust your sushi chef. Toy boat toy boat toy boat toy boat toy boat. One smart fellow, he felt smart. Service engine every 3,000 miles. Must present coupon before ordering. While supplies last at participating outlets. Do not boil. Insert fork to determine if done. Do not inhale -- use mask. You're going to start feeling like flying squirrel. No turn on red. Adheres immediately to skin. Do not get in hair. Never leave burning candle unattended. Do not leave children unattended. Do not place over face or head -- may cause suffocation. Not a toy. May cause cancer. Rosebud. No loud music. Oxygen in use. Childproof cap. Tamper-proof seal. May rip or tear flesh if not used properly. Your conversation is subject to recording by supervisors to ensure satisfactory customer service. Changing rooms may be monitored by female personnel. FBI Warning. Unauthorize duplication is a violation of applicable laws. Not a contraceptive device. Do not aim at another person. Hidden driveway. Limited sight on hills. Scenic detour. Dip ahead. Bump Ahead. Rapids Ahead. Do not pass when opposing traffic is present. No sale of liquor to individuals under 21. We I.D. Pregnant women using this product run a higher risk of birth defects and low birth weight. Baby on Board. Driver in trunk. Do not follow the dancing lemur. Always wear safety goggles. Do not remove third prong. Game pieces do not talk in real life. Do not carry refridgerators on your back. Keep snake away from children and small pets. Must be 18 to call. Drug-free zone. No hunting. No trespassing. Long-haired hippie people need not apply. Use earplugs when using; shrill noise may cause hearing loss. Test on non-visible patch before using. Use only No. 2 pencil. Print using only block-style letters, one letter per space. Fill in the corresponding bubbles. Save before printing. Save soon, safe often. Protect yoursel f against viruses. Milk -- does the body good. A firm grip is necessary; otherwise damage may result. Shake slightly before lighting. Shake well before using. Do not shake before opening. Do not burn for more than 20 seconds. Let gas bleed out of lines before closing valve. Cook before eating. Use before refilling. Coffee and hot chocolate are are served extremely hot; use caution. Shake bag to distribute flavoring. Wait two hours before swimming. The red zone is for emergency vehicles only. Not enough pa rameters given. No long hair or dangling jewelry. Keeps hands and arms away from moving parts. Steam is hot. Signature and date required. The number you have dialed is not in service. Odds determined by number of applicants. Show taped earlier before a live studio audience. Objects in mirror are closer than they appear. Remove child before collapsing for storage. Do not spray in eye or ear -- will result in membranes freezing. I'm bored. Where are all the chicks? This supersedes all previous notices. At participating locations only. Not the Beatles. Penalty for private use. See label for sequence. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Do notwrite below this line. Falling rock. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Your canceled check is your receipt. Add toner. Place stamp here. Avoid contact with skin. Sanitized for your protection. Be sure each item is properly endorsed. Sign here without admitting guilt. Slightly higher west of the Mississippi. Employees and their families are not eligible. Beware of dog. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. Limited time offer, call now to ensure prompt delivery. You must be present to win. No passes accepted for this engagement. No purchase necessary. Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton. Shading within a garment may occur. Use only in a well-ventilated are. Keep away from fire or flames. Replace with same type. Approved for veterans. Booths for two or more. Check here if tax deductible. Some equipment shown is optional. Price does not include taxes. No American coins. Not recommended for children. Prerecorded for this time zone. Reproduction strictly prohibited. No solicitors. No alcohol, dogs or horses. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. Restaurant package, not for resale. List at least two alternate dates. First pull up, then pull down. Call toll free before digging. Driver does not carry cash. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only. Record additional transactions on back of previous stub. Unix is a registered trademark of AT&T. Do not fold, spindle or mutilate. No transfers issued until the bus comes to a complete stop. Package sold by weight, not volume. Your mileage may vary. This article does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my friends, or my cat. Don't quote me on that. Don't quote me on anything. All rights reserved. You may distribute this article freely but you may not make a profit from it. Terms are subject to change without notice. Illustrations are slightly enlarged to show detail. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental. Do not remove this disclaimer under penalty of law. Hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat. Do not bend, fold, mutilate, or spindle. No substitutions allowed. For a limited time only. This article is void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted. Caveat emptor. Article is provided "as is" without any warranties. Reader assumes full responsibility. An equal opportunity article. No shoes, no shirt, no articles. Quantities are limited while supplies last. If any defects are discovered, do not attempt to read them yourself, but return to an authorized service center. Read at your own risk. Parental advisory - explicit lyrics. Text may contain explicit materials some readers may find objectionable, parental guidance is advised. Keep away from sunlight. Keep away from pets and small children. Limit one-per-family please. No money down. No purchase necessary. You need not be present to win. Some assembly required. Batteries not included. Instructions are included. Action figures sold separately. No preservatives added. Slippery when wet. Safety goggles may be required during use. Sealed for your protection, do not read if safety seal is broken. Call before you dig. Not liable for damages arising from use or misuse. For external use only. If rash, irritation, redness, or swelling develops, discontinue reading. Read only with proper ventilation. Avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place. Keep away from open flames. Avoid contact with eyes and skin and avoid inhaling fumes. Do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit. Do not place near a flammable or magnetic source. Smoking this article could be hazardous to your health. The best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of a condom. No salt, MSG, artificial color or flavoring added. If ingested, do not induce vomiting, and if symptoms persist, consult a physician. Articles are ribbed for your pleasure. Possible penalties for early withdrawal. Offer valid only at participating sites. Slightly higher west of the Rockies. Allow four to six weeks for delivery. Must be 18 to read. I am NOT accessing this material to use against the site operator or any person whatsoever in any conceivable manner. I will not redistribute this material to anyone nor will I permit any minor to see this material, or any other person who might find such material personally offensive. I am not a law enforcement officer, nor a postal inspector, nor operating under an assumed name or in cooperation with any criminal investigation; nor am I seeking out evidence which may serve as the basis for any charge of violating federal, state, or local obscenity laws. I understand and state that I am retrieving material from a location where it does not violate any federal, state, or local obscenity law or community standard, and agree to bear the full, complete, and sole responsibility for bringing such material into whatever community I choose to do so. Furthermore, I agree to review the material before retrieving it and assure the operators that any material which I retrieve will not violate the federal, state, or local obscenity laws or community standards for the community into which I choose to bring the material. I will only use the passwords for informational purposes, not to harm anyone. I will not use the passwords to get into an adult-site. I will not use any of the passwords to destroy or hurt other people's computers. I will not use any passwords unless I live in a country that allows me to legally use them. I do not live on Earth. Nor will I ever sue anyone that does. Nor will I testify to what I saw on this page. I will not download anything that is copyrighted here. I will not contact this systems admin with out PROOF that what is on this page is illegal and PROOF that I entered this site legally. I am not employed on planet Earth. Nor am I�m helping anyone that is. I Understand ALL E-Mail sent to ANYONE associated with this site, is property of Rico and/or Rollie B, and If I choose to "fuck" with them then My E-Mail will end up on this page for EVERYONE to Harass freely. I wish to know more about weed and drugs. I live in a place where drugs are legal. I do not live in America. I will never attempt to make anything that I find info about here. Please use good judgement when reading this shit! It is here for the knowledge, not for the use. So dont be a moron and end up DEAD. Just read the files and books for what they are, information. So if you do decide to do this shit and end up dead, maimed, jailed, or inconvienced in any way, FUCK YOU, WE TOLD YA SO!! Everything you find on this page is for educational and entertainment purposes! Nothing on this page is illegal the way it is. If you use this page for anything other than educational or entertainment purposes, I am not held responsible for your actions or anything as a result of this page. Misuse could result in breaking the law so use at YOUR OWN RISK!!! I do not use any of these passwords on my computer. SO LET IT BE CLEAR I CAN'T BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY BAD USE OF THIS KNOWLEDGE! fortunecity.com is not resonsible, or liable, for injuries, damages, or any liabiliaty as the result of, or resulting from, the intentional acts of any person including, but not limited to, the owner or assembler of the product, or persons using the product. Further, fortunecity.com, is not responsible, or liable, for injuries, damages, or any liability as the result of, or resulting from, the negligence of any person corporation, including, but not limited to, the users of the product, the assembler of the product, any owner of the product, any persoms maintaining or inspecting the product. fortunecity.com is not responsible, or liable, for injuries, damages,or any liability as the result of, or resulting from, the improper maitnance of the product, impropering surfacing below the product, improper assembly of the product, or purchase and inspection of wood ( including treating and handling of the wood ). I understand that fortunecity.com nor this webserver that hosts this site is responsible for what I do with the information that I get from this site. I agree not to download anything that is illegal nor view anything that is illegal on this site. I agree not to enter the site if I am male or female. I also agree that I on a 300 baud modem viewing this page with Netscape 1.0 running Windows 98 build 1666 with Java Script disabled and my mouse and keyboard unplugged. I also agree that I will not enter this site. I certify that I am at least 150 years old, and that the above statements are true. Disclaimer does not cover misuse, accident, lightning, flood, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, hurricanes, things falling out of orbit, and other Acts of God, neglect, damage from improper reading, incorrect line voltage, improper or unauthorized reading, broken antenna or marred cabinet, missing or altered serial numbers, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, sonic boom vibrations, customer adjustments that are not covered in this list, and incidents owing to an airplane crash, ship sinking or taking on water, motor vehicle crashing, dropping the item, falling rocks, leaky roof, broken glass, mud slides, forest fire, barbwire, or projectile (which can include, but not be limited to, arrows, bullets, shot, BB's, shrapnel, lasers, napalm, torpedoes, or emissions of X-rays, Alpha, Beta and Gamma rays, knives, stones, etc.). This supersedes all previous notices. Anything NOT covered under this disclaimer is also covered under this disclaimer. Other restrictions may apply. Not exactly as shown.


In short, we, The Universal Joint, our server, and any of those sites linked to, from, around or through are responsible for absolutely nothing.